Of all the episodes so far, this is the one that drives me nuts.

At this point I have been there for a while and I am loosing my mind, I’m getting really paranoid, sleep deprived and haven’t had a anytime to [really] relax.  This is making me question everything I am doing; which is making me bonkers.  I am also running out of excuses in my mind and like you and everyone else on my team getting tired of hearing them, simply I am beat down and not sure what I am doing and why I was there.  But, the fight goes on….

The Challenge:

I was psyched for the taste test, what things taste like has always been something I am interested in and I felt really confident going into it.  By the time that it was my turn I knew I had to get 100% right AND Amanda had to miss a few.

I had seen this challenge on a previous HK series and thought, like you, ‘how can they miss that?!, ‘I would have gotten that, duh!’  but it seems a lot easier than it is.  Please try it yourself or come challenge me, anytime, it’s not that easy.

When I had the Lychee Nut put in my mouth I was psyched, it was so obvious too me and I am thinking ‘I can do this’.  Such a unique flavor.  But then with the avocado, I know boiled coconut, I knew it was rich and creamy and it reminded me of something I had in Thailand, of course I KNOW what an avocado taste like, but I guess the pressure got to me.  Grrr.  Then the tuna, by the time we got to it it was warm and oily and super fishy, I felt like it was salmon.  I have eaten so much raw tuna in my life and I was super bummed I didn’t get it.

All of this goes back to me doubting everything and it was really bumming me out, I wasn’t the only one who did bad so at least I didn’t feel like I had to take all of the blame. None the less, I knew my team was not psyched with me and this would be another reason for me to go home.  Honestly, I didn’t care, if I go home I have a wonderful life and that’d be just fine by me, but then again, I want to keep working to win this thing..

Service:

There isn’t too much to say here.  I was working garnish (sides) and my job is to heat them up and bring them to the pass with the entrees, I was also trying to watch the tickets for everyone else (apparently they felt I wasn’t do so well with this, but I never felt they were that grEat with it either).

Here’s the thing: I did not make the mash potatoes, I am only heating them up.  I told them we were running low and all of a sudden it’s my fault.  I also felt that, and I am not sure this was happening since I was uber paranoid and maybe this is just my imagination (but I don’t think so) that when I brought up my pans full of potatoes they would send them to the other side (where starters and meat was) and they would then go in the dirty pan pile, thus making me use more and more.

We are a team and it was cool of Dave to make more as any team member would do, they make him a hero for this, and that’s certainly one way to look at it, we all helped each other that’s how a kitchen works.

Luckily for me the women had a worst night and they send two to the chopping block.  Amanda is super cool, very funny, and a good cook, it was a bummer to see here go.  It was really apparent that they were all wanting Suzanne to go, but it was Amanda’s turn I guess..

In the previews of next week they show me cutting myself and say “one chef may never cook again”, I hope that’s not me 

Your questions

How did you not know what an avocado tastes like?!

GRRR

How are the duties assigned each week

Chef assigns them before service.

Does everyone on that show smoke?

Not everyone, but a lot do.

Does it bother you that the show paints you in a poor light?

Sometimes, but this only proves that I can’t cook in Hell’s Kitchen, I don’t feel it reflects on how I cook anywhere else.

every time I have prepped with you – you’ve made double what you need – were they f…ing with your mashed potatoes?

Ahhhh, but I didn’t prep them

One of your female opponents called you the most “Curious MamaJama” she’s ever met – haha!!

I think it was ‘Epicurious’, yeah they called me Alton or Dr. Science, I read a lot about food

How do you do it? I would loose it

It was bizaar to me, I am not sure how I did.

I assume you know how many covers each service, or is that another part of the insane weirdness?

We never know how many covers we will do.

I would imagine standard operating procedure calls for prepping x number of portions of potatoes for mashed. Did you serve more than the x number?

Firstly x=who the f knows

Secondly, yes that is how restaurants do do it

Are you surprised by the “confessional” statements made by other contestants about you?

Nah, I knew I was doing a poor job

What is your favorite type of tomato?

Green zebra

Ramsey REALLY that talented that all can forgive his abusive ways? OR is it his rabble rousing persona that keeps the public enthralled? OR IS it the prize at the end that is so appealing it allows you all to do your best to bite your tongues, kiss his arse and hang in to the end? Just curious… seems a lot of us are only watching this episode because we are your fans! (-;

He is a great chef, and it is Good TV, if you like this type of show.

I was trained to always say ‘yes or no chef’ that is why I ‘bite my tongue’

Isn’t the correct response in the kitchen ‘yes chef’ no matter what your feelings are?

Always, though sometimes NO Chef is ok.  But when a Chef says you are crap you say “Yes Chef”

What’s the deal with the woman’s team and Suzanne?

She was pushing their buttons

- Did the atmosphere with the guys change THAT mush after Robert got axed? (seems you guys are working together better)

yes, at least for me.

- Dave (the one with the broken arm) comes off being rather dense. Is it just his slow speaking accent or is he daft?

Nope, he’s a real smart guy.

why the hell does Ramsay scream the orders and speak so fast? Clearly he does it to confuse y’all. Did you and the other guys feel he speaks too fast with the orders?…

yes it was tough for everyone.

Thanks for reading and the questions.

We are filling up for next weeks show, reservations at 6/6:30, I hope you can come 617.266.4600.

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